I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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