they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
