someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
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