he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
