how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
