no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
