Ambien. No doubt about it.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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