Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
