apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
