Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
