She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
