I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
