Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
