A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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