but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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