Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
