Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
