pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
