Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
