he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
