I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
