Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I need a beard to bite.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
