new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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