This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
