Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
