she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
