glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I need a beard to bite.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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