My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
