I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I looked at my own cervix.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
