So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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