What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
