how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
