He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
