either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
