Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
