I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
