I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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