Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
