Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
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