it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
