I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
