He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
