I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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