Why are handjobs necessary in class?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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