How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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