So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
