pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
