Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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