I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
