Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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