last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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