He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
