Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
